


instructions for my chaeyong

by xuxicentric



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Romance, angst????, married!jaeyong, they have a daughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24697765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxicentric/pseuds/xuxicentric
Summary: Chaeyong reads it again, ready to take note of everything she has to do in four days for her parents’ wedding anniversary so her dada would feel like his husband is there to celebrate with them, so that for once, even with her papa’s noticeable absence, they’d be able to celebrate happily another proof of how much they love each other despite all odds.“You can count on me, papa.”
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 8
Kudos: 191





	instructions for my chaeyong

**Author's Note:**

> hehehehehe

It’s a little past midnight, nineteen-year-old Lee Chaeyong getting ready for bed after having written up her last paper for the week. She stretches her arms for a bit, reaching her arms up high like how her papa had taught her ever since she was young because _‘my Chaeyongie will sleep better that way,’_ he would always say.

She misses him a lot.

It’s been over nine months since she’s had a proper conversation with him, nine months since he held her close, Chaeyong wrapped around his arms hugging her tight whenever she asks for an embrace, nine months since she’s heard him sing and hum to his favorite songs while he made her dada’s favorite breakfast every Sunday morning when they’re all at home, no rushing to work and school and no clamoring for time wasted—just peaceful, happy Sundays with Chaeyong enjoying the time she’s blessed with her two fathers.

Nothing’s been the same after what happened nine months ago; the house feels too quiet most of the time, not empty, no, she still has her dada with her every single day—just, _incomplete._

Chaeyong knows her dad’s trying his best and she appreciates it a lot; him making up for the absence of his husband, juggling his responsibilities at work and his duties as a father, even going as far as constantly making sure that the traditions they had as a family of three were always done even if there were only two people living inside their home. Her dad’s strong, never a hint of failure or weakness in everything he does because he wants to make sure Chaeyong lives happily, grows into a fine young woman as he tries to raise her all by himself now. He’s always smiling at her, deep dimples on both cheeks showing themselves to his daughter whenever she sees him, passing the feeling of home and warmth whenever he pulls her in for an embrace when he knows she needs strength, lulling her to sleep with his beautiful baritone voice in the middle of the night when she gets nightmares and wakes up feeling breathless and scared. For Lee Chaeyong, Jeong Jaehyun has been the pillar of their little family, _her_ pillar from the moment she witnessed her papa collapse in their living room floor, unable to wake despite them shaking him into consciousness, despite them crying out for him, screaming his name in desperation.

But Chaeyong knows every night her dada spends a good amount of time seated on the living room couch, lights out save for the lamp on his far left, fingers clasped together as he silently prays for his husband to come back to him while looking at the exact spot he’s managed to catch him on before his husband’s head hit the hard floor.

Chaeyong doesn’t say it out loud, but she knows why he had the entire living room carpeted after that, knows why he always wakes up at eight in the morning on Sundays to make breakfast for the two of them, knows why he always checks up on her at eleven p.m., kissing her goodnight unfailingly every single day before he does he spends his much needed time alone. She knows why she hears him cry sometimes whenever she goes down to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, but Chaeyong has never had the courage to hug him close in comfort because she knows her dada doesn’t want her to see him like this.

She knows her dada misses her papa, too.

She clicks her phone open to check the time when an email pops up in her screen.

Chaeyong drops her phone and feels her entire body numb, heart beating too fast; _no, it can’t be. It’s impossible._

She calms herself, a hand over her chest to monitor her heart rate to make sure it’s slowly going back to its normal pace before she picks her phone up again, thinking she might have seen wrong but alas, the notification is still there with a name Chaeyong can’t process properly.

> **GMAIL**
> 
> **Taeyong Lee**
> 
> **Instructions for My Chaeyong**
> 
> My dear Chaeyong,

Chaeyong removes the alert from her home screen and closes her phone, trying to go to sleep with the thought of her father lingering in her mind.

* * *

She ignores the email for days, three to be exact. Chaeyong’s been pre-occupied with the last few weeks of her first year of college, trying to keep up with everything asked of her. That doesn’t mean the email hasn’t been haunting her, the thought of it constantly crosses her mind, afraid of what’s inside, of what might happen to her once she’s done reading it. Chaeyong feels like it’s something she should hold onto, not wanting to open it up because as long as there’s something she doesn’t know about her papa, he’s still there, he’s still with them.

But tonight, something felt off with her dad. When he checked up on her just a few minutes ago, he felt more tired than ever, like his spirit’s been sucked out of him. He brushes her question off when she asks him if everything’s alright, telling her work’s just been heavier these days but he’s going to be okay before kissing her on the forehead and bidding her goodnight. Chaeyong knows better than to easily believe him, not when he’s been keeping the pain he’s been feeling all to himself. She’s sure it’s more than just work; her dad’s never been the one to stress out over it at home; maybe tonight’s just one of the nights where he misses his husband more than ever; but at the back of Chaeyong’s mind, she feels like she’s forgetting something important.

Her mind wanders back to the unopened email sitting on her inbox; maybe it contains some answers, hints, _anything_ Chaeyong might use to make her dad feel a bit better. She’s no Lee Taeyong, the only sure answer as Jeong Jaehyun’s mood booster but she’s their daughter; someone raised with their love, someone they cared for together—at the very least there are traces of Lee Taeyong in her and maybe it’s enough to make her dad happy again.

She opens it despite the uneasiness in her, despite the fear of not knowing what to expect, despite the longing in her heart for the person she’s been missing for months.

Chaeyong feels her body weaken as she reads word after word, breath unsteady, grip on her phone tightening as she takes in everything her papa’s written almost a year ago but sent only a few days before today. He’s scheduled an email to his daughter a week before his anniversary with the man he’s married twenty-two years ago, the man he’s loved his whole life, the man who’s now Chaeyong’s dad.

All her life Chaeyong has always looked up to her fathers’ love for each other. It was almost as if they were made so they’d have one another—maybe they were, honestly. Even after all the romantic comedies, romantic tragedies, dramas, and love songs Chaeyong has watched and listened to, nothing ever topped the way Lee Taeyong and Jeong Jaehyun loved each other. Even if her parents’ love story isn’t anything too grand, nor anything too out of the ordinary, somehow the way they expressed their feelings just made Chaeyong yearn for something as genuine and as deep as how her parents loved each other;

With how her dada would always take her papa’s hand in his whenever he’s driving, leaving a kiss at the back of his hand at the most random times and giving him the most beautiful smile Chaeyong’s ever laid her eyes on;

With how her papa would always fix her dada’s neck tie every day before he heads out for work, whispering him words of encouragement that he’d do well in his presentation, that he’d close the deal he’s been working on for weeks, and always ending with a small ‘i love you, jae’ and a peck on her dada’s lips along with her dada’s favorite smile;

With how her dada would always be beside her papa, ready to attend to everything he needs or he might need, attentive to his husband’s small actions like when he’s cooking, when her papa reaches for the ladle inside the kitchen cabinet, somehow her dada already has it with him, giving it to his husband even when he hasn’t asked for it;

And with how her papa always has a hand somewhere on her dada’s skin because it’s his way of assuring him he’s there and it’s one of the few things her dada needs to maintain a peace of mind; that he has his Taeyong with him, he has nothing to fear then.

When she finishes the email her papa’s written, Chaeyong feels tears falling uncontrollably at how beautiful her parents’ relationship is, at how even when he’s physically unable to, her papa has still found a way to show how much he loves his husband.

Her dad would always tell her to choose someone who’s going to love her the same way he loves Taeyong, the same way Taeyong loves him because that’s the kind of love she grew up in, the kind of love she deserves to have when she’s ready to give her heart to someone else. Tonight, as she embraces herself tight, heart feeling pain for both her dad who’s been trying to hold himself together in the absence of his husband and for her papa who is unable to do everything he’s asked his daughter to do for her dada on their twenty-third wedding anniversary.

Chaeyong reads it again, ready to take note of everything she has to do in four days for her parents’ wedding anniversary so her dada would feel like his husband is there to celebrate with them, so that for once, even with her papa’s noticeable absence, they’d be able to celebrate happily another proof of how much they love each other despite all odds.

“You can count on me, papa.”

> **From: Taeyong Lee**
> 
> **Subject: Instructions for My Chaeyong**
> 
> My dear Chaeyong,
> 
> As days pass by, I feel like I’m getting weaker by the minute. You know how it is; young and good looking as I am, my heart is just a big party pooper. I feel like I’m unable to fight for much longer, but rest assured, my baby, your papa will be doing the best he can with all he’s got.
> 
> I’ll let you in a little secret, princess: I’ve been preparing a lot these days for if ever I’m not blessed with a longer lifetime, I’ll still make you and your dada feel like I’ve never left. Although I’m set for everything else, I need you to do me a little favor.
> 
> I have asked Miss Park from the flower shop beside the Timmy’s downtown to deliver ninety-nine roses every year for your father. You know how much he loves roses—of course, he says it’s because it reminds him of me but I say it’s just because he was born on Valentine’s day and what would a child of the Valentine have as his favorite flower than the symbol of love itself? Also, search for what ninety-nine roses mean, that’s how much my love for your dada goes.
> 
> I also have ten vinyl records you’re to give him for ten years—all of them are of his favorite bands and artists, some of only one song. It’s up to you what you’ll be giving him for each year, but don’t forget to buy some more for the coming years alright, princess? I have left them with Minhyung at my office for safe keeping so your dada won’t “accidentally” find them again.
> 
> Third, I’ve attached a PDF file of my recipe for _samgyetang._ You know how much your dada loves it—refuses to eat any other version of it from any other restaurant because he says mine’s the best. He’s a smooth talker, your dada, but he sure knows how to make me swoon. Read the recipe carefully, I’ve taught you my ways in the kitchen, haven’t I? Do your best, princess. Don’t cut yourself nor burn your skin when cooking. I’m not there to patch your wounds up and your dada cries at the sight of you in pain.
> 
> Another thing, do you remember the chocolate cake your dada would always buy for me? Please drive to the bakery and buy a whole cake for him—I’m sure he’d love some of it but wouldn’t dare to buy it himself because I’m not there anymore. He says he only buys it because of me but he’s the one who finishes most of it anyway. Just as if I am there, have a chocolate cake in the dining room for you and your dada’s enjoyment. It would make me really happy.
> 
> Lastly, after you have eaten together, ask your dada to dance you along to Black Skirt’s _Who Do You Love?—_ it’s our song and your dada would always ask for my hand so we could dance closely together while he sings to me every line, hum to me every beat. In my stead, my princess, dance with your father for me. So he could never forget how it feels like to hold someone close while swaying along to the tune of songs we loved together.
> 
> I may have asked too much from you, knowing it’s not easy to forget the pain of a loved one leaving. Papa asks for your forgiveness, my princess. But I really hope you will grant my wishes every year for my anniversary with your dada. My love for him goes beyond the temporariness of life, and there is nothing that I wish for more than to make sure he knows that. He has given me nothing but good things, made me feel nothing but the best feelings one could ever feel. With you, your dada is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
> 
> I love you, princess. Thank you for bearing with me.
> 
> ‘Til next email, my baby.
> 
> With you forever,
> 
> Papa
> 
> P.S. remind your dad I love him, alright? Make sure he never forgets that.

* * *

Jaehyun has parked his car on their driveway five o’clock on the dot, wondering whether Chaeyong is already at home. He’s planning to take her out on a father-daughter date tonight for dinner at a fine restaurant in one of the hotels as a celebration for his twenty-third anniversary with Taeyong. He’s unable to celebrate with his husband properly, but Jaehyun knows Taeyong would want him and Chaeyong to enjoy themselves on a great day like this.

_I’ll go see you later, baby._ Like always, Jaehyun sends a telepathic message to Taeyong, though he doesn’t really believe in those things.

He enters their house, lights out in the living room when he opens the front door. He leaves his keys on the bowl placed on the table beside the doorway and removes his shoes before switching the lights open.

“Chaeyong?” He calls for her by the staircase, wondering if she’s upstairs in her room.

Jaehyun hears a rumble from her room, a usual sign Chaeyong’s about to head down. Jaehyun removes his tie while walking towards the kitchen to get something to drink when he sees a plate of ribs with side dishes all over, Taeyong’s favorite chocolate cake and a bowl of _samgyetang_ that smells exactly like how his husband makes it, sitting atop the island.

Jaehyun feels his breath hitch.

“Dada.”

Jaehyun turns around to look at his daughter, almost ready to ask for an explanation for the food served on their kitchen but is met with the sight of a handful of red roses that looks like it could reach a hundred on his daughter’s arms.

Chaeyong smiles at him beautifully.

“Happy anniversary to you and papa, dada.”

Jaehyun takes the flowers from her and gives them a whiff—reminding him of how Taeyong smells like, reminding him of Taeyong when he sees them beautiful and pretty—his Taeyong, ethereal just like a rose.

“How many are these, princess?” Jaehyun asks, still bewildered.

Chaeyong fishes her phone out from her pocket and type something in before showing the screen to Jaehyun, “Ninety-nine roses. For eternal love.”

“Oh, my baby.” Jaehyun sets the flowers on the kitchen counter before pulling his daughter in for an embrace. This beautiful girl right here in his arms is a product of his and Taeyong’s love—together they’ve raised a wonderful person who has experienced all the love they could give and has witnessed how love looks like between two people who cherish each other so much. Chaeyong, as much as she’s her own person, reflects his and Taeyong’s own selves—the best parts of them.

In Chaeyong, Jaehyun sees Taeyong— _his Taeyong._

“Let’s eat while the food’s warm, dad?”

Chaeyong busies herself preparing Jaehyun’s meal, pouring a healthy amount of _samgyetang_ on his own bowl and puts side dishes on his plate, cutting him his own serving of ribs from the diner they all like. She pours him a glass of red wine from the 50s, reserved for special occasions like these and scurries over to the corner of the dining area where one of Jaehyun’s record player sits. Jaehyun watches her pull what seems like a new record from his shelf, something he swears he still doesn’t have but isn’t quite sure, though when the music starts, he immediately smiles, knowing it’s a gift for today from his daughter.

_“Pink Sweat$?_ Where’d you get that?” Jaehyun takes a huge bite of the ribs before taking a spoonful of _samgyetang_ soup, not really expecting it would be like Taeyong’s because he has no idea how Chaeyong would get ahold of his recipe when he’s never written it down before.

“Papa bought it for you.”

She says it at the same time he sips the broth—Jaehyun’s freezes at the taste, how it’s exactly like Taeyong’s, how it even brings him comfort because it’s one of the things only Taeyong can do and what did his daughter just say? Taeyong bought the vinyl for him?

“Yes, dada. The roses, the vinyl, the _recipe,_ even the cake, all of them are from papa.”

And just as if Taeyong’s right beside him, the tears the rolls on Jaehyun’s cheek is wiped by his daughter’s thumb, not wanting it to fall any longer.

_“Your tears are precious, Jaehyunnie.”_

“Your tears are precious, dada.”

Jaehyun puts his hands over his face, embarrassed he’s being emotional in front of his daughter. “Ah, your papa, seriously—he’s so sappy. Ah, how am I supposed to eat when I’m feeling like this? I can’t let this go to waste, you cooked really well for me.”

Chaeyong just laughs at him and takes his hand on hers, “Let’s eat later, then? Come here, dad.”

He stands up when Chaeyong pulls him up and watches her run to the record player again. She pulls a familiar record now and removes the vinyl that was playing, replacing it with one of Jaehyun and Taeyong’s all-time favorites.

“Let’s dance, dad?”

Jaehyun takes her hands and pulls her close, swaying along to the soft tune of the song with his daughter as he sings to her like how he does with Taeyong. It’s different—the feeling is different, of course, yet somehow their daughter’s presence makes it up for his husband’s absence—the longing he’s been feeling for months, intensified over the past few days nearing their anniversary is placated, to say the least.

It’s been tough, nine months without having to hear Taeyong’s voice, without feeling his warmth enveloping him, but he has Chaeyong, their Lee Chaeyong reminding him he’s not alone, that he still has hope, still has someone he can lean on and be strong for.

“Will you go see Papa after, Dad?”

“Mm.” Jaehyun kisses her forehead and hugs her close. “Mind if I stay a little longer with him today?”

“Of course not, take all the time you need with him.”

* * *

Jaehyun drives to where Taeyong is; resting, unmoving, yet somehow still _breathing._

He gets out of the car and walks to the entrance from where he’s parked, nodding towards the guard who’s already familiar with him because he’s been coming and going here twice to thrice a week.

Jaehyun greets the nurses and doctors he’s always seeing with a smile, thankful of how they’re taking care of his husband whenever he’s not around. Then he finally stands in front of Taeyong’s room, breathes in and out heavily for a few times because as much as he’s always seeing his husband in this state, he still can’t get used to it. Finally, he slides the door open.

Jaehyun takes a seat beside Taeyong’s bed and as usual, he takes his husband’s hand in his and kisses it.

“Hey, baby.”

Jaehyun pauses for a moment, mindlessly staring at Taeyong’s beautiful sleeping face, constant beeps in the background reminding Jaehyun that there is still hope for Taeyong—even if as time keeps passing by it lessens the possibility for Taeyong to come back to him but it’s okay, as long as Taeyong’s still fighting, Jaehyun will keep fighting, too.

“Happy anniversary.”

He barely notices it at first, but when the tears don’t stop falling and it blocks Jaehyun’s sight of Taeyong, he sobs uncontrollably—frustrated he can’t do anything concrete for his husband.

He tries to calm himself, wanting Taeyong to hear his story perfectly of how their daughter surprised him today. He knows Taeyong’s listening to everything he’s saying, just like he always does.

“Chaeyong made my heart melt today. You know that time he drew a picture of us for her school project back when she was in third grade when they were asked to draw what symbolizes love for them? Yeah, that intense. I cried in front of her, babe. Imagine that. I think I’m no longer her cool dad now. That sucks.” He laughs our breathily, intertwining their fingers now because it makes him feel closer to Taeyong.

“She told me you prepared everything? Is that true? I couldn’t believe it at first—didn’t even cross my mind until I took a sip of the broth of her _samgyetang._ It was as if you made it, god she’s doing really good in the kitchen now. She takes after you, really. She’s amazing. We raised her well, love. I wish you could see her now.”

Jaehyun’s tone shifts at the end of what he said, voice a little lower, coming out like a whisper instead. He doesn’t ever want to lose hope in Taeyong, he _knows_ Taeyong’s coming back to him because he’s promised him he’s never going to leave just like that—barely even an _I love you_ from Taeyong’s lips when Jaehyun caught him from falling to the floor. But the words of Taeyong’s doctor rings through his mind constantly, telling him that the longer he stays asleep the lower the chance he’s going to wake up.

All Taeyong needs to do now is wake up, but he won’t.

He’s still not waking up.

“I wish you’ll get to see her grow with me, Taeyong.”

And just like that, with his hands wrapped around Taeyong’s own, Jaehyun cries again for his husband tonight.

“When will you come back to us, baby?” He asks, desperation in his voice. “We miss you. Chaeyong misses you so much.”

He presses his lips against the wedding ring around Taeyong’s finger. “I miss you. Everyday.”

He hangs his head low, singing lines from their song while he cries pathetically beside his husband. It’s imperfect, somehow he’s out of tune but he thinks the way he’s crying right now would wake Taeyong up because he’s singing in such an ugly manner it’s so out-of-character for Jaehyun. Oh, how Jaehyun would love for Taeyong to smack the back of his head again whenever he’s fooling around to snap him out of it.

“When you are not with me, who will you be able to love?” Jaehyun slowly loses his tight grip on Taeyong’s hands, placing it on his jaw so it would feel like Taeyong’s caressing him.

“So there is no time to miss each other, live with me for a very long time.” He closes his eyes when he feels another tear fall, Taeyong’s hand still cupping his face with Jaehyun’s on top.

And it catches Jaehyun off guard when he feels a thumb graze over his skin, wiping the tear away from his face.

He opens his eyes to see Taeyong smiling at him, looking a little weak, but still smiling beautifully at him like he hasn’t been asleep for nine months.

“Your tears are precious, Jaehyunnie.” Taeyong manages to croak out despite still feeling weak, offering Jaehyun the best way he can comfort him right now.

“Oh my god, Taeyong, oh my god,” Jaehyun panics, unsure of what to do because honestly the only thing in his mind right now is to kiss the life out of Taeyong (no, not literally the _life_ out of him, please) but he knows better than to do that right at this very moment, not when Taeyong’s unstable yet.

“I’ll call the doctor—I’ll call for someone, alright baby? Give—give me a moment.” Jaehyun fumbles, forgetting for a second where the button for the nurse call is when Taeyong pulls his arms lightly.

“Jaehyun-ah,” Taeyong groggily lets out, “Jaehyunnie, I missed you.”

He spreads his arms out as wide as he can in his condition and Jaehyun chokes out a sob, diving in slowly to embrace the person he’s been yearning for for a time that felt like forever/ He leaves a trail of kisses on Taeyong’s jaw to his cheeks, his nose, and gives him a chaste one on his lips.

“I’ll take that you missed me too?” Taeyong whispers to him, holding Jaehyun close.

“That’s not even a quarter of how much I miss you.”

Taeyong giggles before pushing Jaehyun away lightly as he feels the weight of his husband on him. “Where’s our princess?”

“Oh—oh, she’s at home—she’s, I’ll call her. I’ll call for a nurse and I’ll call her.” Jaehyun finally spots the button to call a nurse over and fumbles with his phone to call their daughter.

“Tell her to take a cab, I don’t want her to drive on her way here.”

Jaehyun looks at him and sees the familiar glint of happiness in his husband’s eyes despite still looking weak. Taeyong has fought so hard for him and Chaeyong, knowing well he’s been struggling with his health even way before he was in coma. Taeyong is a fighter, and like how Jaehyun believed in him, he knew he’d never leave just like that.

It took him some time but he’s here again.

Taeyong is with them again.

“Ah, it’s November twenty first?” Taeyong looks back at Jaehyun from peeking at the digital clock on his bedside. “Happy anniversary, baby.”

Jaehyun wants nothing more than to spend his whole life and the coming lifetimes he’s going to have with him.

“Thank you for coming back to me.” He presses his lips at the back of Taeyong’s hands once again, silently thanking every force on the entire universe for giving Taeyong back to them, _back to him._ “Happy twenty-third, love.”


End file.
